Saturday, December 10, 2011

Aikido (mostly written in November, posted here 12/10/11)

The other night aikido practice was wonderful. It always is. Aikido brings into play body, mind, and spirit; and there’s immediate physical feedback as to the quality of my presence, the flow of my energy, my awareness, and my connection with the other person and their energy. It’s an exemplar, a metaphor for all parts of life. I feel a strong sense of play, joy, delight, and of deep connection with myself, the other person, and the universe. I feel and see the energy flow – grounding, extension, moving my center, blending, connecting. There’s immediate difficulty or failure of a technique if I’m not fully present, if I’m trying, forcing, doing, trying to make something happen or make someone else do something, thinking about what to do, or struggling or fighting with someone. We all are teaching and learning together, from and through each other, deepening with laughter, love, and play.

Words are inadequate (though I’m trying). I so appreciate the flow of connection, welcoming, loving, accepting, exhilaration, learning, experience, the laughter that bubbles through me with a good fall, teaching, feeling, sharing, presence, ease, falling, relaxing, connecting center to center, moving in harmony.

The other night there were two things that happened that I don’t remember having noticed before. First was in practicing what is sometimes called the unbreakable arm. One extends energy through the arm (from earth through center through arm to the horizon). I variably think/see/experience it as energy, as light, or as a firehose full of water. When someone tries to bend your arm, if you try to keep them from doing it, there’s a feeling of fight or struggle and difficulty, and it will either bend or not depending on whose muscles are strongest. If you experience the flow of energy, there’s no struggle, and it’s much more difficult for them to bend your arm. This night I used the word “giving” and imagined giving the energy instead of it just flowing through me, and there was a different quality to it, somehow more open and easier and loving.

Second was working with a technique where the attacker punches you in the belly. The first couple of times I didn’t feel much of a connection; it felt likethe person I was attacking had the idea of what he was going to do, and was doing the motions, but wasn’t including me. A couple of words of feedback, and then there was a good connection and throw. The following time was absolutely amazing. Before I even started the attack, I could feel his center and energy connecting with me and affecting me. I almost couldn’t attack – I wanted to fall down right there before I had even moved. (I didn’t – I made myself attack and fell very quickly when he moved in the technique.) There was something in his stance and energy and presence that shared a connection with something much greater, that’s very hard to put into words. There was a fullness, a presence, a welcoming loving embrace, a deepness, a strength, almost like running into a mountain, or encountering a deep still pool, but one fully aware of everything including me –he was at the center of it, fully connected to it and to me. Had I been a “real” attacker, I never would have attacked him.

I think that meditating and practicing that deeper connection and awareness (whether it be by sitting, or praying, or connecting with nature, or in aikido, or in a creative pursuit), grounds us and links us to something greater in the universe, that then affects us and the people and world around us. The things that matter to my ego don't matter in that deeper place of spirit, and fall away. I can go back and forth, and do. (I remember especially when my kids were young, and if one of them said something angry to me, I could respond calmly several times, but after 4 or 5 rounds I might catch the anger or frustration myself, and respond similarly, and have to give myself a time-out.) I definitely prefer the peace and love and beauty of that deeper place, and the more I practice it, the more I am able to stay connected with it in the daily world, and, I hope, help others to connect to the same place. Practicing aikido gives immediate feedback to me as to where my awareness and connection and spirit are, and practice in regaining the deeper stance, and blending (accepting, loving, being at peace) with the other person. It focuses me on what I am doing and bringing with me, rather than what the other person is doing. When I reach (and stay at) that deeper level, the aikido techniques flow easily; when I don't there's difficulty. There are few other places in life where I can see this so clearly, with an easily seen and felt physical metaphor and demonstration. Aikido allows me the space and safety to correct and change and transform, so that I can stay there longer and more deeply.

A little more thought on aikido and metaphors: for me aikido, besides being a physical exercise and useful for self-defense, is also a mental and spiritual exercise, and a metaphor for living life, doing and being and relating.

Rooting: imagine yourself like a tree, with roots going down from your feet deep into the earth. (Try lifting someone when they are doing this and when they aren’t.)

Unbendable arm (extension of energy): Imagine energy (or light, or water), coming up from the ground through your feet, through your center, out your arm, extending from your fingers, across the room, out to the horizon, like a fire hose. (Try bending someone’s arm when they are doing this and when they’re not.)

Blending energy: Blend your energy with that of the person approaching/attacking you: Move so their impetus – speed, direction, strength – continues unimpeded. Join with them, so your center becomes the shared center, and your energy extends further along their path. Then you may add to or change the direction into a throw, still rooted and extending energy.

In the experience of aikido, one can experience difficulties. If it’s hard, you’re not doing it “right” – you’re not in harmony with yourself, the other person, and the universe. Most commonly you might experience blocking, resistance, fighting; or a trying to do, to make things work, to make the person go a certain way; or losing connection with the person, not affecting them, having the idea in your head; or perhaps a lack of clarity on your direction of energy– holding them up instead of directing them to fall.

One can experience competent performance. The rooting, energy extension, blending, and throws are all done well, with ease, successfully. It feels good, it works well, the physical movements and energy are flowing and harmonious. It feels normal and natural (both throwing and falling).

And one can experience the amazing. A connection you feel from the other person’s center before you even start to move to attack. While continuing that connection, a movement of their center and body, and you fall before you touch them or they touch you. The connection incorporates a spiritual dimension and energy that is very hard to put into words. Something like that if I’m attacking, I’m running up a hill or a mountain, or running into a whirling wind and gravity that moves me – down into a fall, or spinning away from them. At the same time it’s loving, exhilarating, deep, full of laughter and play. It feels wonderful (even when you’re the one doing the attacking and falling).

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