10/6/11 Love versus Fear

We have two main choices in how we react to things that are happening.


The first is with love and acceptance, for example:

 This is what is – seeing and feeling clearly.
 
 I’m okay, you’re okay.  You are here in this world with me.  We’re different. We can learn from each other.  We can share with each other.

 A deep love and cherishing, this person is created by God, beloved, a blessing, meant for something wonderful, a gift to me and the world.

        This circumstance, even if unwanted or negative, can be used by God to help me and help others.  How can I open to God's presence during this time, and align myself with his purposes?  How can I help to bring into being something good?  What do I have to be grateful for?  (This doesn't mean not to feel grief or sadness or anger, it means to be aware that there's more.)



Or we can react with anger/fear/control:

 With this I react against what is, desperately want it different, and relate negatively to it.  I try to beat it into submission, destroy it, run away from it because I don’t like it, or make it do what I want, when I want, how I want...  I get caught in the situation and my life is defined by the situation, like I'm fighting with Tar Baby (in the story by Uncle Remus).  I'm more and more stuck, and can no longer see all the beauty and opportunities in life, which are still there if I would just look around.



We want control. We want to be able to make things the way we want them to be. But we don't have control.  The more we try to control, the more difficult things become.  By letting loose of this, and learning to see and feel what is, and surf the waves or float on the wind, we gain perspective and wisdom and flexibility.  We can guide ourselves with  vision.  We can blend and flow with the energy of the situation.  We can move, sometimes even counter to the wind if we tack our sails.  We can have access to the whole resources of the universe. We can flourish and grow and help make things better.
 
It doesn't mean we will be "a success" by the world's standards, or even survive -- none of us come out of life physically alive.  We all die.  It does mean we have a chance to make a difference, to live our calling, to be the unique person each of us is.  This world has natural disasters, illness and death, inattention and accidents, and evil in it.  It also has amazing beauty and love, intricacies beyond our knowledge and ability, things of wonder and joy, deep peace and silence beyond the noise.  It's our choice how we live, and with what we engage ourselves.

Meditation

I posted this on CarePages last week, but thought I would include it here as well.

Thursday I set aside the morning for some contemplation time. I was still tired when I first woke up, so I went back to sleep. I spent a while in the late morning sitting outside in a shady area. Some of my initial conscious thoughts -- what are my next steps, how do I avoid getting caught in the always-more-to-do cycle (that can get me out of balance, never get finished, and eat up my life), how to live and love well (God, my family, everyone I work with and care for, all people, the world, myself), how to make sure I have enough time for things important to my spirit.

(As I started to relax and deepen into a more meditative state, a tiny feather came floating across the yard and landed right next to me on my right side, less than an inch long, a very defined down feather.)

I want to be fully awake, aware, vibrant, alive, able to accept and act, free ...and yielded and joined with the Holy Spirit.

Awake! Live. Love. Surrender.

Listen. Feel. Act. Be.

Cycles, Phases, Seasons.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Go deep.

East, South, West, North.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter.

Live, Learn, Act, Reflect and Integrate, Die.

Truth (what is)

Vision
Step by step
Create
Build

Center, ground, extend, flow, blend

Move with the breath of God

Fully see each thing anew

Allow

Whole

Stand for, integrity, Love, persevere

Prepare the earth, plant the seed, water, harvest

Grow

There's not just one way, there are many (trails and unmarked). Go where heart and spirit draw me.

Listen for the calling, the song
Feel for the ease, the source
See and live the vision
Sing the song
Move from the center, in balance and wholeness, in the spheres of Heaven and Earth
Walk in beauty.

(I have a sense of beauty, of peace and joy, of angels and spirits all around.)

God, you are my God, and I will ever praise you.
Grateful heart.
Then sings my soul, my savior God, to thee.

(Another down feather floats across the yard, landing a little to my left, this one even smaller and more flowing/feathery, gray, so soft I can barely feel it.

The feathers, like the poplar leaves, move to the tiniest movement of air, float on the breath of Spirit.

I am left with a very peaceful sense that I don't have to figure this all out, just need to move with the breath of Spirit in my life.)

9/17/11 Peace

I've felt quiet and peaceful since my meditation time on Thursday, when I dropped my wish to figure it all out, and instead trust that I will move on the breath (or wind) of the Spirit.  My mind has quieted.  I've gone on several walks.  Fahren's Park is beautiful.  Today I watched hawks (both on the way there, and during the walk) -- they moved in the air with nary a wing flap, turning and rising on the currents of the rising thermals, needing only to hold their wings out and steady, and make tiny movements to swoop or turn.  I saw them first clearly (and very beautiful) just above the treetops, and within a few minutes they had been lifted very high. ("You are the wind under my wings...")  In the park I watched jays, a hummingbird, dragonflies, butterflies, a kingfisher (first I've seen in a long time), a junco (I think), a robin, and the grass, eucalyptus, stream, many trees and plants, and some kids throwing water balloons at each other.  I noticed that the real beauty of the eucalyptus bark shows after storms and other stresses have stripped off the outer darker thick rough bark....  I trust that God, who can make feathers float to me at precisely the time and place of my meditation to give me a strong sign, and who can bring beauty out of storms, will move my life to precisely the right effect and beauty ...  and it will need no effort on my part, just awareness and listening, and floating on the breeze, riding the wind....  Love, Barbara